I just had one of those semi-rare moments. I was holding Milo, and he was sound asleep, and so handsome. And I realized that I've blinked and he's going to be one year old exactly one month from today. And I thought to myself, "This is exactly where I want to be right now."
I've been doing some (super mild) soul searching and evaluating lately, and I've realized that just because my house isn't clean and organized (understatement of the year, by the way), it doesn't mean that I'm bad at my current role in life. I just happened to have picked a "job" that isn't necessarily a match for my strengths. In fact, it almost highlights my weaknesses. Having the patience required to hang out with small children, cleaning, keeping up on laundry, being on time to kids' appointments, cooking meals. I score low on ALL of those. But anyone who knows me knows that I do love a good challenge.
So that's sort of where I am right now. I started with this ridiculous idea that I was going to rock stay-at-home-momming. And then I felt sorry for myself for sucking and made lots of excuses ("I'm still adjusting", "I'll start a new system NEXT week", "I have three kids; it's impossible to get anything done", etc.). And now I've realized that the truth, and my new outlook on life, is somewhere in the middle of all that. I don't suck, and I'm not a rock star. But my kids love me, Brian is happy, and (shockingly), *I'm* happy. So all the other stuff (the cleaning, the being on time, the organizing, the cooking), I just need to work on. And it'll all be fine whether I ever make any improvements or not. But it's like working out: I can't lose weight and get healthier if I don't make a conscious effort to do so. Not too mention there is more to being a good mom than just keeping a house looking nice and putting Pinterest-worthy meals on the table every night.
So, speaking of which, there's a basket (or two...or three) of laundry staring at me. And I have two sleeping children. Goodbye, blog. Hello, clean clothes.
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